What’s Your Why?

Obesity is a disease. It’s not a character flaw. It’s a life threatening illness. It causes diabetes, heart disease, COPD, stroke, cancer, and degenerative joint disease. It also causes social isolation, loneliness, poor self esteem, depression, and anxiety.

No one wants to be fat. No one strives to be obese. There was once a time when a woman’s thick thighs, round bottom, and her curves were considered the perfect female form. But times changed and now 5’10” 90 lb fashion models stride down the runways and grace the cover of beauty magazines. Instagram is full of fitness gurus. Khloe Kardashian started the ‘revenge body’ trend. Get even with your ex by getting the perfect body. None of this motivates me. In fact, it does the opposite. I used to love beauty magazines, but that was before I became fat. Now, it’s depressing to turn page after page and not see anything that resembles me. Worse, the message is if you’re not this thin then there is something very wrong with you.

I’m not a loser. I’m not a failure. I’m not ugly. I don’t hate myself. I don’t hate what I’ve become. My weight does not define me. It’s just a number on the scale. My weight has nothing to do with how smart I am. It has nothing to do with how funny I am. It has nothing to do with my creativity. I’m sexy, beautiful, kind, and funny.

But, I am fat. It’s a disease. It puts me at risk for a lot of problems. My energy level isn’t high as before I was this heavy. My knees hurt. My acid reflux is bad. I snore loudly, and I don’t sleep as well. If I don’t make some changes to my lifestyle then my life will change and not for the better.

I don’t want to lose my mobility. I do not want to become trapped in my body. I want to be able to take my dog for long walks and go hiking this summer. I don’t want to develop crippling breathing and heart problems. I want to be well enough to enjoy my family and friends.

I don’t want a revenge body. I don’t want a man to want me because I’m skinny. I want a man who loves me for my heart, my soul, and my mind. I want a man who loves the curves of my body and knows that every wrinkle and crease was earned. I want a man who knows that cellulite is braille for sexy!

So why am I doing WW? Why am I exercising? Because I will not be a prisoner in my own body. I will not lose my mobility to obesity. I will not let obesity cripple me with disease. I will not let obesity rob me of being able to fully enjoy this one and only amazing life. I’m going to refresh my lifestyle. I’m going to learn to make better choices in my food. I’m going to make exercise a priority. This is not dieting. This is not a 7 week fitness program. This is self care.

What is your why?


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