💯 Real Talk

I’m so tired of scrolling through my social media newsfeeds and seeing the memes and posts about YOLO #livinmybestlife and the gratitude and positivity. Don’t get me wrong. It’s not that I want a newsfeed full of angry depressed people.

What I want, no, what I long for is authenticity. Real people living their real life with all its ups and downs, successes AND failures. I want to see the bad days as well as the good. I’m so tired of the selfies with so many filters women look like plastic fashion dolls from a dollar store rather than the beautiful women I know they really are.

I’m tired of all the coaching about choosing positivity and how a bad day is a choice. The truth is sometimes we have shit days. Sometimes we have lazy days. And in between the shit days and the awesome days are just – days.

This is not a lack of gratitude. I’m grateful for every single day. I know that no matter if I’m having a shit day or a lazy day or a tough day or a stressful day or a wonderful day that I am blessed to have that day and blessed to be able to feel all the feels of that day. I know that those with major depression would love to have the variety I am blessed to feel.

This is about what and how we share our days. It’s the ones who share all the posts of themselves eating super healthy meals, meal prepping, and drinking shakes but never show the pic of that fast food lunch they indulge in because it’s taboo to admit you eat McDonalds now and again. C’mon! I know you crave those fries as much as I do and once in awhile you indulge!

I’m so tired of all the perfectly made up faces artfully contoured displayed across a heavily filtered photo with the perfect backlighting. I’m loving the no makeup, bedhead selfies.

I’m tired of the constant bible study pictures. I love scripture and I read daily devotions myself but like most others I read other books throughout the day. I see endless pics of highlighted bible passages from folks I know read 50 Shades of Grey back in the day and loved it as much as I did! So what is everyone reading now? What silly fluff fiction are you struggling to put down? It’s okay to admit to reading something other than the Bible or classical literature.

I’m fed up with the 24/7 gym photos! Especially the non sweaty, perfect makeup/ponytail gym selfies. For God’s sake if you want me to be impressed show me your sweaty face with your makeup melted off struggling to catch your breath after that HIIT class you just took. Or, show me the pic of you sprawled on the sofa binging on Netflix when you were supposed to workout but you just didn’t make it there. I can relate to both.

I want to see you frustrations and your bad days as much as your gratitude and good days. We’re all humans with a full range of emotions. I’ve read a lot of research pointing to smartphones and social media as a culprit for the rise in anxiety, depression, and suicide and it got me to thinking. When you’re having a shit day and you scroll through your newsfeeds and all you see is the persona of what we want the world to think is real it can make you feel pretty lonely. I think this is why a person can have 5000 friends on Facebook yet be incredibly lonely. It’s hard to scroll through a newsfeed and only see pictures of perfection. How is anyone supposed to relate to that? Aspire to, yes; but relate to, no.

Everyone wants to blame bullying as the culprit. But hell, I am almost to the point where I like the bullies because at least they are showing me their true colors even if they are ugly. Now, I’m not saying it’s okay to bully. It’s not.

I’ve been active on social media almost since its beginning. From the days when MySpace was the giant to the earliest days of Facebook. I’ve watched it evolve. When I first joined Facebook it was primarily where all the kids were. As more of my age group began to join I watched it evolve first to all the interactive Zynga games. How many farm invites did you get? Then my newsfeed evolved again to a sales platform as all the real estate agents and car dealerships discovered its potential. At one point my newsfeed transformed into a running cookbook and recipes were shared over and over again. My newsfeed shifted into a political platform with the 2016 election and while we were all distracted by the Hillary vs Trump debate, quietly, in the background, came the rise of the ‘influencer’.

Influencers are motivational speakers, fitness experts, life coaches, stay at home moms, and mainly, entrepreneurs. Ultimately, they’re all selling you something. Sign up for… use the promo code… follow the link in my bio! Some of it is bullshit. Some of it is pretty damn good. Some of it inspires you to roll your eyes, and some of it just inspires you. But influencers are trying so hard to sell us perfection that authenticity has been lost. No more candid photos. Now, perfectly choreographed staged shots captured in the perfect setting under the perfect lighting. The message is we all have bad days and that’s okay but don’t live there. Embrace gratitude! Choose happy! And that is a great message, but sometimes we need to see the ugly. Sometimes we need to know that someone else in this big wide world is having just as shitty a day as we are and they too are feeling overwhelmed and ready to say fuck it! and have a pity party in a quart of ice cream. And rather than a lecture about making better choices it would be nice to see more of yeah babe, I’m there too. I’m gnoshing on birthday cake. What’s your flavor?

I’ve been on social media since it began, but I’m a late arrival to the tribe of influencers. My blog, like me, is a work in progress. My social brand? Well, I’m still trying to figure that out, but I do know this. I choose authenticity. You are going to see the real me. The unfiltered, imperfect, sometimes raw, 💯 real me. I choose to embrace and celebrate authenticity. And I want you all to know that the real you is always welcome in my space. The fat you, the tired you, the bloated you, the crabby you, the weird you, the nerdy you, the emotional you, the lazy you, and especially the silly you! Whatever you are today I will celebrate with you.

Leave a Reply